4 Key Habits of A Servant Leader
What is a servant leader?
This question has encouraged me to study the leaders I’ve encountered in my life to find a common denominator.
Sure, servant leaders need to have integrity and inspire people around them, but I’ve met some pretty awful leaders who have these traits.
So what am I missing?
Some of the best leaders I’ve come across say empathy is the key ingredient to be an effective leader, but there has to be more to it than that. I’ve met some empathetic leaders that were miserable at getting results.
It wasn’t until I started connecting the dots that I realized that all of the best leaders had one guiding principle in common—- a desire to serve.
At the heart of every decision they made, was a genuine passion to help those around them. They were all servant leaders.
The philosophy of servant leadership has been around forever. I first encountered the concept as a kid in church hearing the importance of “tending to a flock” and the idea was further solidified during my time in the Air Force. The Air Force has 3 values that are meant to guide the actions of every Airman, the second of which is “Service Before Self.
After I realized the importance of service in servant leadership, I had to change my perspective. There was a point in my life where I thought servant leaders were above the people they led, and I’m sure I’m not alone.
While I thoroughly enjoyed my time in the military and I’m grateful for the chance I had to serve, toxic leadership is rampant in the armed forces. I had to redefine what servant leadership meant to me.
In my journey to become a better servant leader, I’ve found 4 habits the best servant leaders all shared. Let’s get into it:
Habits of a servant leader that you should develop!
Habit #1: Show what you want people to follow, don’t tell!
Some leaders wonder why they’re not seeing results in their organizations. They read all the right books and say all the right things, but for some reason, no one cares.
Why? What are they missing?
– People can smell bullsh*t a mile away.
One of the good habits of a servant leader preaching things like empathy and “open-door policies” mean absolutely nothing if their actions aren’t lining up with their message.
I’ve struggled with this, too. So many of the relationships I had with my peers and direct reports were empty and paid the typical lip service to whatever philosophy the organization followed. It wasn’t until I developed a true passion for taking care of those around me that I started to see my life change.
The change is subtle. It’s little things like asking people how their families are doing and actually listening or learning about their aspirations and helping them get there. By doing little things on a daily basis to make the lives of those around you better, you’ll form better relationships and see the trust in your team grow.
Key Takeaway:
No one cares about what you have to say until you show them you care. Take time to truly get to know your people, and set out to make their lives better on a daily basis.
Habit #2: Servant leaders listen first before they speak
I was talking with a manager who complained about how their message wasn’t getting through to their team. I decided to watch their interactions to see if there was something I could point out, and the cause for the disconnect was crystal clear.
This person, in particular, was saying all of the right things.
They really wanted to help, but there was something wrong;
They were so busy being a “great leader” that they never let anyone else talk.
They were so caught up in their own message that they never got feedback on how it was being received. This came up several times on how they handled issues. If a problem came up they were quick to prescribe a solution, instead of taking time to synthesize all of the information.
This is a problem for several reasons, but the one I’ll focus on is trust.
If people feel their servant leaders don’t care enough about what they have to say, there will be absolutely no trust in your team. And if your team doesn’t trust you, you’ll never truly be effective as a servant leader.
I’ve personally messed this up more than a few time. Jumping straight into action when a problem comes without taking the necessary time to listen (and learn), is a great way to mess things up. How could we possibly take the right actions if we don’t fully understand the situation?
I got around this by slowing down. Instead of thinking of a solution or the next thing to say, I listened. I’d repeat back what I heard, ask engaging questions, and before sharing my perspective, I would ask for consent.
By making these small adjustments, my interactions with the team became more engaging and authentic.
Servant Leadership Key Takeaway:
Listening is more important than lining up the “right” things to say. To foster a culture of trust, your team needs to know that you value what they have.
Habit #3: Leaders make themselves available at all times.
Great leaders set the tone and culture for their teams and organizations.
Practicing servant leadership doesn’t stop at us. We have to consider how we’re positively impacting our teams, and there’s no better way than leading by example.
We’ve all seen the cliche posters of leaders in front of the pack symbolizing the importance of leading from the front, but why does this matter?
A crucial part of being a leader is being visible.
It’s impossible to set the tone and lead by example if our team never sees us. So is being present enough? Absolutely not.
As leaders, we have to model the behavior we want to see in our teams, even if it goes against the norms. You’ll stand out and people might wonder what you’re doing, but that’s exactly what you want. By modeling the behavior you give everyone else on the team “permission” to follow suit.
Servant Leadership Key takeaway:
Great leaders need to be visible to truly set the tone for the organization. By modeling the behavior, you empower everyone else to do the same. By being a cultural pioneer, you pave the way for your team to be the settlers.
Habit #4: You Should practice transparency
In many organizations and social settings, information is king.
Leaders receive information they then need to synthesize and disseminate to their team. Where leaders go wrong is not sharing enough of the information, claiming their teams don’t have a “need-to-know.”
Now, I’m not advocating for full transparency here. I realize that there are certain pieces of information the team doesn’t need to effectively carry out a mission. What I am saying is that leaders need to paint an adequate picture of “why.”
The days of expecting people to do things because you said so are gone. Millennials, like me, want to feel a sense of purpose and we get that by understanding why something is being done.
Great leaders take the time to understand a decision well enough to articulate the intent behind it, and share the intent openly. Being able to distill and share the thought process behind a decision is a great way to build teams that trust you.
Servant Leadership Key takeaway:
To build trust, leaders need to practice transparency. Sharing the “why” behind a decision is often enough to turn dissenters into allies
True servant leadership is a powerful way to build highly effective teams with a foundation of trust.
By placing service at the center of our leadership philosophy, we’re prioritizing relationships with our team and emphasizing empathy.
It’s important to note that while service is difficult to teach, everyone has the capacity to learn it.
The 4 habits listed above are just a few examples of things we can strive for in our journey to become better leaders.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on your experience with servant leadership in your life and organizations!
Well said, I struggle sometimes with empathy and with listening.
Thank you for the good read.
Thank you for the thoughtful response. Listening is one area most leaders (myself included) struggle with, and the key is continuous improvement.